60 Years Young

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 29-08-2010

Yesterday was my dad’s 60th birthday, which we celebrated today.  Dan and I got up early this morning and went over and surprised him with a yummy breakfast.  Crepes with blueberry filling and bananas with hazelnut spread.  Of course covered in whipped cream and powdered sugar.  Along with turkey bacon and OJ.   We hung out for the day and enjoyed eachother’s company and then Dan made delicious barbeque chicken with loaded baked potato salad.

Bed in a box?

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 23-08-2010

What?

A bed that comes in a box you say?

Yes.

And that is what we bought.

Dan and I finally decided we had had enough of our old lumpy, lop-sided queen sized bed and jumped into the new KING SIZED world of beds.  I can’t believe we ever slept in a queen sized bed after experiencing this mattress.  And not only that, but BedInABox.com makes a very nice and comfortable bed.  I would say it isn’t *quite* the same as the Tempurpedic beds that we tested at the store, but for the price (only 1/3 the cost of the Tempurpedic) it is worth waaaaaaay more.  We were able to pay for the Pac Bamboo king sized memory foam mattress with cash as opposed to having to finance the Tempurpedic brand.

We’re very satisfied with our decision and are getting a much better sleep and not constantly fighting for space and blankets.  We could probably even fit a third person in this bed if we had to.  Preferrably a littler person.  Or not.  Let’s not go there.  ;)

And, it really did come in a box.

This stuff…

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 23-08-2010

Is amazing.  Dan’s Grandma Jo bought us a loaf over the weekend from Costco.  We took her to get Toby groomed and then while waiting we stopped over at Costco to pick up a few items and then the grocery store.  We then had dinner which I laboriously prepared myself (microwaveable pot roast and mashed potatoes and a fresh salad) and then indulged ourselves in some delicious ice cream.  It was a good day.

But the point of this post is not to tell you about our day, it is to tell you how amazing Milton’s Blueberry bread is.  It is GLORIOUS.  I can’t stop eating these slices, toasted with a little bit o’ buddah.  Mmmmmm!  Definitely not good for a diet at 110 cals per slice, but so worth the cheat.  :)

Try some!

Some Self Reflection

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 22-08-2010

“Illness is the night-side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.”
-Susan Sontag

This summer has been a rough one for Dan and I.  I had so many problems with my asthma back in April/May and then Dan’s heart problems started.  He then had to have surgery in July to have his defibrillator replaced and things kind of went downhill from there.  His heart function dropped from 50% to 25%.  I’ve been perplexed by this ever since.  The doctors claim his surgery went fine, although after the surgery he was found to be anemic and had fluid around his heart/lungs.  No signs of CHF, but it was very worrysome for a while.  On top of this I started having some GI problems and now will have to have my gallbladder taken out soon.  I can’t help but feel that this is ALL related to stress.

“… caregiving is a CHOICE; the person you are caring for has NO choice to be ill or disabled. You will always be separated by that reality. Choice motivates and can haunt….Choice is not a rock, it’s more like a beach tested daily by tides and randomly battered by storms.”

Sometimes I forget how hard it is to be a caregiver and the “well-spouse” because I’m too busy living it day by day.  Dan’s been sick since I’ve known him so this isn’t anything new.  But I’m finding it doesn’t get easier.  We just keep on keeping on.  I never chose this life, this isn’t what I pictured in my mind when I was little and thought about marriage, but it’s what I was dealt.  I try so hard not to allow myself any pity parties or woe is me moments, but sometimes they creep up on me.  That’s how it’s been lately.  I’m sick when I think about Dan’s HF being at 25%.  Just sick.  And I can’t help but feel like I caused it.  I found this article online:

A recent study that appears in the July/August 2009 issue of Heart and Lung affirms in a broad sense what anyone in a committed relationship, particularly a marriage, already knows from experience: one spouse’s mental or physical health ailments can, and often do, tax the other spouse.

This study is particularly concerned with the implications of this dynamic when one spouse has some form of heart failure (HF), a chronic progressive condition that occurs when the heart muscle can’t pump enough blood through the heart to meet the body’s blood and oxygen demand.

The study found that a spouse’s distress had substantially greater impact on the HF patient’s overall health and the course of the patient’s illness than the reverse scenario. Considering the fact that 5.7 million Americans have HF and well over half a million new cases are diagnosed each year, this is concerning.

I love Dan and I will take care of him until the day I take my last breath.  But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.  I don’t think people realize (unless they’ve also been a caregiver) how much it can suck the life out of you if you let it.  All the attention is always focused on the ill spouse (and rightfully so) and not much thought is given to the well spouse because they are so “well”.  What happens when the well spouse becomes ill, too?  I’m discovering that I need to reach out for support when I need it more and not bury it inside.  I think I’ve let the stress and guilt of our situation get to me which has led to all of these health problems.

It’s so easy to forget how sick Dan is because he looks so “normal” and has a pretty “normal” life.  Whatever that is.  It’s so hard to think about how every heart beat for Dan is exponentially harder than it is for me or his friends his age.  That sucks.  Nobody really realizes this when they look at him but his body literally fights for every heart beat he gets.  I remember again how fragile Dan is and how the littlest thing can affect him.  Including stress.  There are so many levels of emotion that we encounter on a daily basis that are far different from “normal” couples our age.  I think we need to find a better way of harnessing these emotions.  I’ve recently turned to a lot of these self-help websites for the well-spouse and have been finding a lot of useful wisdom.  I have been feeling very bad for displaying my emotions such as anger, frustration, and guilt and thought I was “wrong” for doing so.  And I guess I am for the way I have been doing it.  But I know now that it is OKAY for me to HAVE these emotions and they are perfectly normal for a person in my position.  I just need to learn to talk about them, with Dan.

I think this sums up Dan and I:

The sick partner feels guilty for being sick. For changing the game plan of the relationship. For not being able to do the things s/he used to, things ordinary couples get to do without a second thought. For having a hard day. For eating up savings that should have gone to the kids’ college fund or retirement.

The well partner feels guilty for being well. For being in a different place than the ill partner. For being able to still socialize, do sports, even have some fun. For not being able to make the ill partner better. For feeling angry, afraid, and exhausted. For wishing this would all stop and get back to the way things used to be.

What’s the benefit of carrying so much guilt? Not much.

Guilt doesn’t act as a bridge, creating a conduit between two struggling people. Guilt can’t repair health. Guilt doesn’t bring laughter into the room.

Guilt turns off the lights and shuts the door.

Two guilt-ridden partners means two people hunkered down in their separate corners, hiding from the light in each others’ eyes. Each person, alone, feeling bad over something they had no hand in making.

What’s the way out of guilt?

Stand up, hold each other, and jointly say, “This sucks.” Not, “I’m bad,” or “You’re bad.” but rather: “The situation we are in is terrible. We are both so sad that this is changing the future we had planned. I’ll be with you when you are hurting. I’ll give you space when you need it.”

Dan and I have decided to be more physically active by doing things outdoors on the weekends, taking more day trips, and just spending more time together.  We realize that every second we have together is truly a gift and we want to take advantage of every one of them.  That’s why we have decided that we want to spend our lives traveling and living the world up.  We’ve got to get healthy together and stay that way.  We’ve got to quit feeling sorry for ourselves all the time and just remember as corny as it sounds, each day IS a gift and to take advantage of them.  We deserve it, afterall.

Summer’s End

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 22-08-2010

We ended our summer with one last camping trip last weekend and had such a relaxing time.  We went to our favorite area, as usual up near Heber but camped at Valentine Canyon instead of Airplane Flats.  There were no toilets or picnic tables so we had to make do, but it was so much more private and still free!  I read ‘Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’ all weekend while Dan relaxed and just enjoyed the scenery.  I love these small little camping trips.  They don’t require a lot of planning and are easy on the wallet.  Plus, I get to spend every moment with Dan and Penny.  Good times.  Here are a few pics from our trip:

Unpacking the Jeep… Penny thinks she’s helping by following Daddy around!

Dan snacks on my famous bean dip and Penny sits pretty while she catches her breath.  She was soooo excited with all those incredible smells!

Here I am reading my book while Penny loyally sits at my feet.

Our Campsite

We took the Jeep out for a trip to the top of the ridge.

Just enjoying the view.

Family pic time!

Things we found on our adventure.

One of our yummy breakfasts.

All packed up and ready to go!  Penny has such a tiny little space to sit in the Jeep once it’s all packed up.

Dreams of World Travel

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 22-08-2010

Got to thinking today… one of the best benefits of not having kids is the possibility of doing LOTS of travel throughout our lifetimes.  We are currently planning a trip to Europe for next May and it’s been so much fun planning that I’m looking forward to many more years of planning these types of trips.  I happen to think that being a world-traveler will make me more well-rounded as a person than to have kids and have to stay in the same place for the rest of my life.

Some of our dream trips include (in no particular order):

  • Australia/New Zealand
  • China
  • Japan
  • Tahiti/Bora Bora/Fiji
  • South America
  • Galapagos Islands
  • Canada/Niagara Falls
  • Alaskan Cruise
  • Puerto Rico
  • Bahamas Cruise
  • Disneyworld
  • New York City
  • California Coast
  • Eastern Europe
  • United Kingdom (Britain, Ireland, Scotland, Wales)
  • Spain/Portugal
  • India
  • African Safari
  • Greek Islands
  • Egypt
  • Hawaii

I think that just about covers it.  Can’t wait for Dan to become a nurse so that we can start planning these trips once a year!  Our trip to Europe next year will include London, Paris, Amsterdam, Munich, Venice, Florence, and Rome.

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.  ~Lao Tzu

Superfoods

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 07-08-2010

So, I am going on a diet. Yeah yeah, I’ve said that before, I know. Not some crazy crash/fad diet that I will only do for a short time, lose a bunch of weight, and then hope to just keep it off. I’m going on a lifetime diet. I decided enough with setting myself up for failure. So, I’m going on a diet that is good for my specific health conditions. It will be low simple carb (not no carb), especially low starch if any at all, low fat, but superfood rich! I’m not going to limit myself to any particular # of calories, although I don’t want to add any either, and I’m just going to do it slow. That seems to be what works for me. I need to lose weight, not just for the weight part but for my specific health conditions. I gotta be careful from here on out. Enough scares. Time for a change. Dan’s on a high iron diet because he’s anemic so our diet is a combination of things right now. Red meat (Gasp!!! We never eat red meat!), lots of dark greens, antioxidants, beans, all that good stuff. Yesterday was my first day on this diet and let me tell you, it wasn’t bad at all. We even went out to eat at Chipotle (I know, it’s not Qdoba, but it’s okay) where I had a special burrito bowl that I catered to my diet and then had grilled steak and corn on the cob for dinner. Today I didn’t eat breakfast as I was too busy preparing lunch but I had plenty of “samples” to get me along. I made the most delicious salad for lunch! Grilled chicken salad with blueberries, strawberries, and green grapes over a bed of green lettuce. I was a little leery about the fruit, I know it’s a big thing on the menus at fancy restaurants, but it’s typically not my thing. However, I know I have to change my ways and include as much antioxidants as I can to clean my liver, etc. So, I tried it. And it was absolutely amazing. My tastebuds were jumping all over the place. The sweet strawberries, crunchy grapes, and then the blueberries that were alternating between sweet and bitter. It hit the spot. Tonight I will be having some starch as we’re going out to eat with some friends, but that’s okay. I’m taking it slow and not going to deny myself things every now and then. Just be moderate about them!

Oh yeah, and I lost 1 lb. yesterday.  So, it’s a start.

Our Dog Eats Better Than We Do

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 07-08-2010

We get a lot of questions from family and friends about the unique diet that we have our dog on, so I thought I’d post a little about it.  It’s been a while since I’ve posted and with not too many positive things to post, I thought this would be fitting.  We have Penny Lane on a raw meaty wholesome diet. It all started in 2007 with that whole dog food scare where multiple brands were being recalled and that whole ordeal.  We had just gotten this brand new puppy, we were new puppy parents, and didn’t know what to do!  Our dog’s food was poison?  What?!  That is absurd!  All these companies that we trust to make our animals’ food!  So, we searched online for recipes on how to make our own dog food.  Little did we know that we’d be embarking (pun intended) on such a new, different, and ever so rewarding way to feed our dog and change the way she ate forever!

My mom had mentioned that she heard a special on NPR about this “Raw Meaty Bone” diet that a veterinarian in Australia had “come up with” (I say that with quotes as I know dogs have been eating raw meat and bones since the beginning of their existence) for feeding dingoes.  This intrigued me.  Feeding my dog RAW meat?  Won’t she get sick?  What about salmonella?  What about the bones?  Is that safe?  Are you sure?  I had all these burning questions but was even more intrigued on finding out how this wholesome diet worked.  I’ve never known a dog to eat anything other than dog food so I had no idea it wasn’t actually GOOD for them.

So, I dove a little deeper, my dog wasn’t a dingo so I wasn’t sure this was the diet for her.  I scoured the internet looking for more information on feeding a domesticated animal this way.  I found many many websites from veterinarians, breeders, and animal lovers galore with information on this. I couldn’t get enough information, it was fascinating!  I read probably 10-15 of them and found my favorite one which has been my bible for Penny’s diet ever since.

Basically, dogs don’t get sick from raw meat like we do.  They have special enzymes in their stomachs to help aid with digestion (just as we do for various things) and keep them from getting sick.  No, they can’t get salmonella!  Pheww, what a relief.  In fact, dogs can find some old rotting, rancid carcus in the wild and have at it!  And raw bones?  Won’t they splinter and get stuck in their throats and intestines?  Nope.  Raw bones are soft.  Have you ever scraped a chicken bone with your finger nail?  You can scrape bone right off of it!  And not only can they eat and digest them, but they are good for them, too!  They help keep their teeth clean and strong and keep them from getting too “soft” in their old age which is what happens to a lot of dogs who eat too much wet food out of the can.

But why?  Why is this diet any better for them than dog food?  For one, dog food is cooked to temperatures up to 2000 degrees!  And with temperatures like that, there goes the nutritional value, too!  Sure, I know, dogs will go their whole lives on commercial dog food and get fat and the whole nine yards, they’re not starved, RIGHT?!  Wrong.  I learned that animals that eat a commercial pet food diet are starved for nutrition!  Their eating commercial pet food is like us living off of the worst fast food chain.  Sure, it will sustain us and keep our stomachs full, but it’s sure as hell not good for us!

Anyways, so there were way more pros than cons that we found so we decided to give it a try.  The cons were that it was expensive and time consuming.  We found that the price is about double the cost of dog food per month.  Just as eating healthy for us humans is about double, sometimes triple the cost!  But hey, we don’t have any kids and so we decided we wanted the best for Penny.  (Oh and the cats but we can’t get them to touch the stuff!) We raised her on the diet from the time she was about 3 months old, but then a year and a half later we stopped.  We were both going to school full time, I worked full time, money was tight, and just couldn’t keep up with it. She ate commerical dog food for another 2 years until just recently we started feeding her the diet once again.

Some of the benefits we found when we first started her on the diet was that it de-wormed her naturally!  We took her to a dog beach (never again!) in Del Mar, CA when she was about 2 1/2 months old and she came back with worms.  We had read that this was one of the benefits of the diet and so when we put her on it we were hopeful that it would work.  It did! Within a week she had no more worms.  She went through some detox, just as any animal would when changing their diet so drastically.  Her pee smelled wretched (like dead fish!) and her skin flaked up a STORM.  She was already a little flaky when we got her but she really flaked up once she started on this diet.  About a month later she was clear of any signs of detox!  No more flakes and in fact her coat was even more beautiful than before.  Shiny!  And the biggest benefit for US, other than seeing this happy, healthy beautiful dog was that her poop shrunk to about 1/2 the normal size.  And that’s because she wasn’t eliminating all the filler from the dog food anymore.  She was using up most of the nutrients in her food and then only eliminating some.  It’s awesome.  I would take a picture of before and after but that probably wouldnt’ be too appealing to anybody.  Just trust me on this one.  This last time we started it we only noticed a little bit of flaking behind her ears for about a month and then that was it.  I couldn’t tell you about the pee stench because she pees outside in the dirt now, not in the middle of the kitchen as she did when she was a puppy!

With her diet of ground hamburger meat (with the highest fat % we can find), processed veggies, cottage cheese, and honey, she gets some food supplements.  Just as we need vitamins, so do animals!  So we feed her a lot of supplements, though really the most important one is calcium.  So, if you ever consider a diet like this for your pet and the price of the supplements scares you away, don’t worry, buy only the calcium and your animal will still be okay.  We feed her calcium (from egg shell powder), an enzyme supplement that contains liver and pancreas to help aid in digestion and provides probiotics, a glandular supplement to help nourish her glands and organs, another glandular supplement which primarily focuses on helping the kidneys and heart function better (since most pets who have eaten commercial pet foods will probably have weak kidneys or at least be more susceptible to kidney problems so says my fav website), an organic green food supplement to similate our carnivore friends eating the digestive tracts of prey in the wild (which is where they get so many important vitamins, minerals, amino acids, fatty acids, chlorophyll, and valuable phytonutrients), and last but not least we add an ionic trace mineral supplement to her water (and the cats) which provides her with trace minerals, aka, the “spark plugs” of life that play a vital role in every cellular process.

There’s no real “recipe” when feeding her.  You basically just need to worry about ratios.  2:1 is what we use for Penny.  However much meat we feed her, we feed her half that amount in vegetables.  When we first started the diet we just had to make her a huge meal and let her eat and eat until she was full.  I know, sounds crazy.  But she was starved for nutrition so it was important to let her eat until she was full so that her body could start to detox from the commercial pet food.  Now I find that 1-1.5 pounds of ground beef, or a chicken thigh+drumstick and then her veggies and supplements is enough.  We usually just feed her once a day, but if we start to notice that she is hungry (yes we can tell when she’s hungry) we will feed her twice.  I try to be good on the weekend and spend a few hours one of the days chopping veggies and processing them and then dividing up all of her meat in plastic zip loc tupperware containers so that her food is all made for the week and we just have to add some hot water (to simultate a fresh kill) and wah lah!  Some weekends I am not so good so we are stuck making her a meal every night.  We usually only feed her chicken once a week to keep her teeth and gums healthy and clean because it’s kind of messy as she has to chew on it for quite some time in order to eat it. Luckily, we don’t have any babies or small children running around the house that we have to worry about them touching the floor after she is done and getting salmonella or anything.

So there you have it.  I know I didn’t include everything because I can’t think of everything off the top of my head.  But if you have any questions, I’d be glad to try to answer them.  I’m no expert.  I only have my one dog.  But I do this because I love her and I’ve seen first hand the benefits of it.  The time and money that it takes to do this diet is more than worth it at the end of the day.  Plus, it’s really kind of magical.  You lovingly put this lavish meal together for your dog while she sits patiently waiting and licking her lips, which she then devours and once she’s done she comes up to you, lays her head on your leg and just looks up at you with these eyes that say “THANK YOU”.  That’s why it’s all worth it and why we do it.

Bountiful Baskets = Success

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 21-06-2010

So we are on our 3rd Bountiful Baskets order.  I’m loving it!  So far each week we have gotten something new to try.  The first week was a coconut, not new of course, but not something that we get too often!  The second week we got bok choy cabbage which we used in our own homemade chow mein which was mighty delicious.  And this week we got plantains (Well we got them last week, too and Dan found out the hard way that they weren’t bananas when he put one in his protein shake.  Oops!) and made a delicious Caribbean meal of sautéed pork chops and fried plantains!  They were so delicious, like a cross between fried zucchini and french fries.  Just got done eating them:

Sausage and Rice Stuffed Bell Peppers & Jalepenos

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Posted by Jilly | Posted in Dan & Jill | Posted on 15-06-2010